Why I'm Not Allowed To Play Final Fantasy!
by Yunas Evil Twin
Summary: This actually has a little of all FF's in it, but 10 is my fav, so I put it here, read on to see if you're as bad as I am!


Why I Am Not Allowed To Play Any Final Fantasy.  
  
Disclaimer: I do not own any rights to Squaresoft, Final Fantasy, or any other merchandise of mass production mentioned within.  
  
Okay, so this story is for therapy in order to realize that I have a problem with Final Fantasy. Here's how it started.  
  
It's hard to say when this all started. I guess at home, when I started following my Mother and boyfriend around, snapping out light switches every time they went into a room. "What the hell are you doing?" My boyfriend asked. "Don't you know that Mako energy is destroying our planet? Don't you care?" My Mom looked at me. "What is 'Mako'"? I snorted and headed down to the basement to disassemble the fuse box, and ended up with my hair standing on end. Even more pissed off, I went to school with my bag of tricks. (Heh)  
  
At school, I brought out my highly equipped Hello Kitty stuffed animal and walked to class. The local bully stopped me. "Whatcha got there, freak?" Copying Lulu's cool tone, I said, "Enough," and threw Hello Kitty at him. It hit his chest and fell to the ground. He stared at it for a moment, enough for me to run away for my class, and presumably, safety.  
  
In class, I sat in the back bored to tears, and trying to cast Silence on my Biology teacher. Many times I have tried this, without her noticing. Unfortunatly for me, she turned from the blackboard in time to see me waving my hands wildly around and mouthing, "Shut up, shut up, shut up!" "Is there a problem, Miss Kelly?" "Uhhh..nooo.." "And haven't you already been sent home once for wearing that outfit? Go to the principals now!" She barked, pointing to the door.  
  
At the principals, I sat waiting for yet another lecture on how I wasn't a barmaid from the Midgar slums, and that I was to go home and have a slip signed stating that I was not allowed near the Playstation for a week. Another idea came to me. I reached into my bag and got what I wanted just as the Principal walked in.  
  
"Again, Miss Kelly?"  
  
Not bothering to answer I threw my stuffed dolphin at him and screamed "Dolphin Blow!" while making the kick of a lifetime. What I didn't anticipate was the lack of airtime and coordination needed for the kick. I hit my head on the desk, and woke up in the hospital, my mom standing over me. "No Playstation for a week!" I groaned and asked for a high potion.  
  
Sometime in winter, again, I was getting ready for school when my mom happened to look outside the window and saw me dancing around the car, arms waving. She came out.  
  
"What are you doing?" "Trying to summon Ifrit to defrost this damn thing!" "Who is 'Ifrit'"? Again, I snorted at her ignorance and got into the freezing car.  
  
At school, I got sent to the principal's office again for two things; trying to breed large chickens so that I could have a chocobo, and also dancing the summoning dance around the corpse of the class pet hamster, Hammy. This time I got expelled and could only come back after I was in therapy.  
  
At the therapist's office, I killed a bug, did a victory dance, and then searched the remains for Gil or other goodies. The shrink didn't seem to understand, and suggested no more Squaresoft games. She suggested the hospital after I tried to bind her candy jar to my shoe, claiming it was Materia that I needed to defeat the green ultimate weapon.  
  
At the hospital, I was sent to the padded cell for many reasons, I tried to tattoo another nuts face, I scarred another's, claiming it was the latest fashion statement, and then there was the time in pet therapy that I chucked a golden retriever at an orderly crying out, "Sic 'im, Ixion!"  
  
Water therapy was no better, after I started a Blitz ball team with the nuts and ended up in isolation for telling them they could breath underwater.  
  
Out of Isolation, I was sent to the intensive care ward after trying to do Tidus's Jetch shot, aiming it for an orderly. I missed him, but my head didn't miss the floor. (Ouch).  
  
After months of the Thorazine shuffle and electroshock therapy, (Which I didn't like cause it was Mako energy, more damage to the planet,) I am fully recovered and have no desire to play Final Fantasy games anymore.  
  
However.Twisted Metal Black look very interesting. 


End file.
